if its one thing i learnt having been shrouded in obscurity before, its to never despise being in it. that’s where God intended/intends us to be. its the same saying – that everything happens for a reason.
i remember feeling (eons ago) for a really long time like i was invisible. like people detested the very fact that was in their class, walking along the same corridor as them, or that i was in the same team as they were. it was as though what i really liked doing – singing, dancing and what have you – didn’t matter at all. i felt inferior, insignificant and just plainly like i didn’t fit in anywhere.
i hated the fact that i was a “nobody”. i wanted to trade places with the lead singer of the band that played regularly during school events, i wanted to “make it big”, i even wanted to (don’t laugh) have superpowers so i could do good and be recognized for it. i wanted to be somebody.
(notice the number of references to me, myself and i in those last two paragraphs…)
looking back now and i am so glad was a nobody. it was in that period that i learnt the hard way to look beyond myself. to move away from self-centeredness to living for others. it was then God gave me a servant’s heart.
i realized that it wasn’t about what others had to do for me, opportunities others gave to anyone other than me. i realized that it wasn’t about others changing but it was stuff that had to be dealt with in my heart. i had to change. that’s about the only thing that was really about me.
it was in obscurity that God dealt with my issue of an inaccurate self-image, that led to pride, that led to a horrid self-esteem. it was in obscurity that God taught me how to worship Him no matter what, to be the first to worship God in any and every circumstance – to be a lead worshipper. it was then God taught me it’s never really about how i feel, it was then He dealt with my issues with anger and impatience. all these among so many others.
if you’re going “this is heresy!” at this point, look at the bible. obscurity isn’t a bad thing! joshua followed moses for decades before he finally came into his role of the one to bring israel into the promised land. and even then it was only after moses died! david went back to his duties as a shepherd boy right after he was anointed as king and remained a shepherd boy for a really long time! and look at Jesus! He gave up His throne in heaven to come to earth as one of us! that’s obscurity to the max if you ask me. He was a carpenter for thirty years before His three years of ministry.
if like me you feel like a nobody (i still feel like that sometimes) – remember that you are somebody and not just anyone, you’re somebody to God. the God of the universe who would bother to even speak to tiny you. so much so that He wants to do that on a regular basis, that He wants to fellowship with you.
