beautiful skies.
one day i will write a song with the same title as this blog post. one day.
i saw the sky only four times in the past 24 hours.
each time was a sight to behold. beautiful. i love it when God does that.
university.
i’ve been wondering alot about why i study lately. i guess it was natural and necessary, seeing as to how this semester was (is, i still have two exams… it’s not over yet, sherman!) really really hard!
especially so after the trauma that happened on monday, some of you may know what it is…
so why do i study?
do i study what i study because of the prestige of the programme? if so right now i don’t feel very positively about it…
do i study cause i love what i’m doing?
do i study cause i need to “make it” in life?
or do i study cause that’s what everyone does?
is it cause i want to be competent in what i do in the future?
i feel quite lost. like i lost direction in terms of my uni education. but i don’t know and i’m planning to find out.
shoes.
hmmm. how should i start. i thought this is rather funny so i’d blog about it…
i decided to dress down for my exam today. comfort first, i thought. and then i was on my way to church and thought: “hey, a t-shirt, berms and flip-flops isn’t gonna cut it la, need to honor the people who come!”
and so i decided to grab a pair of those easy slip on shoes from cotton on (which btw, are only twenty bucks, quite a steal!). quite comfortable ah!
on the way back to hostel i was mentally going through my closet, wondering about the number of pairs of shoes i have!
and guess what. i have TWELVE PAIRS OF SHOES. now this is even more than G who mentioned she prolly only has three pairs…
let’s see…
i have 3 pairs of sneakers – the white ones, dark green high cut ones and my really old and battered red ones.
i have 2 pairs of dress shoes – one formal and one semi-formal…
4 (yes, FOUR) pairs of flip-flops
a pair of nikes for running (hmmm haven’t used them in a while, wonder why…)
and two pairs of well… i dunno how to classify these. one i bought today, and the other pair of white shoes i bought from KL (some of you may remember this).
wow.
complaining.
i’ve been in a rather whiny mood this couple of weeks. it could be cause of the exams. i think i just gotta get my perspective right. argh. “how come school has to be so tough!?” etc.
what i forget is that there are people who don’t even have the chance to go to school. either cause of the lack of resource or just the nonexistence of a university. and here i am complaining.
i think i’m just most of all sorry that i threw dirt in God’s face cause He’s just been faithful to provide firstly entrance into uni, secondly, the resources and thirdly the chance to do what i’m doing now.
i’m sorry.
today
is one of those days. haven’t slept a wink the night before, but today seems rough. i feel really really worn out physically. it’s a first.
more thoughts (on people)
i’ve been thinking about my treatment of people recently – even those that i do not know. and i’m a bit conflicted over it. when someone is being completely inconsiderate and is just doing stuff that’s plain annoying, do i 1) keep quiet, and extend grace? or 2) step up and speak out for what is right? they’re both very justifiable options.
on one hand i keep telling myself that it’s the right thing to do, to extend grace and not insist on having my way, i mean, who am i to be correcting others when i am myself flawed right? on the other it irks me so much and for the good of everyone i should speak up albeit politely, but still voicing out my concerns. my argument is that it is also the right thing to do to NOT be a rug and let people walk all over you. so which of these is it?
i’ll illustrate this with two examples i encountered today.
i went to the foodcourt for dinner and i ordered my food. i proceeded to the drinks stall to get a drink but on the way there a guy caught my attention. he was sitting in the middle of the food court having his food but was coughing quite a bit. my initial thought was if he was choking and he needed help. then he cleared his throat and started spitting the phlegm on the ground right there and then. this is in the middle of an indoor foodcourt mind you and the phlegm is a thick yellow orangey thing. then he went back to his food. then he starts coughing again and spitting his phlegm all over. i sound like im kicking a fuss out of nothing now, but it was really really gross. i think i caught myself staring at him after a good 5 seconds. it was bad la. he was a regular foreign student, not like an old man. it was gross on so many levels. i lost my appetite right after and had goosebumps trying to eat. my question is what should i have done? he was in a good position to just have walked to the toilet and expelled his phlegm there but didn’t. what was the right thing to do?
another case in point is happening right now as i’m typing this is my residence’s study room. two guys are sitting across the table from me and are eating really loudly. making those tsk tsk tsk noises as they eat (this really really irritates me to no end too). firstly this is a study room and they shouldn’t be eating in it. secondly they’re being very disruptive and talking quite loudly. to what extent should i extend grace and to what extent do i speak out?
i think all along i’ve been telling myself to swallow whatever i wanna say and just keep quiet. but there’s got to be a point where its too much and something has to be done right? i’m not trying to be proud or like i got it all together cause i don’t. but its a very real struggle i have on the inside. so what say you, my friend?
some thoughts.
this post is divided into a number of bits, written at different times cause i keep needing to rush off somewhere else.
22nd oct
i’m writing this as i’m sitting in my advertising lecture. HIGHLY unfulfilling. so i decided to blog and give an update about what i’ve been up to and ruminating about… the only way i’m learning for this module is by reading the text. i’ve been wondering about this also. how much am i learning and how much am i just mugging, just focussing on scoring for the exams. i mean i AM learning, more about myself and more about what i like to do.
for instance in my intercultural communications module, i’ve noticed certain things about myself like how i do a lot of non-verbal communication, lots of facial expressions, and haptics – as my lecturer puts it, a very ‘touchy-feely’ sort of person. and yet, in terms of oculesics, i’m super averse to direct and prolonged eye-contact. it’s super funny. i’ve learnt in financial accounting that i’m not cut out to be an accountant. haha. i salute accountants man it’s like an entirely new language. i’ve learnt in a marketing and this advertising module, that i thrive in a creative environment, and its just learning how to put it into practice in the marketing context. in my bizlaw mod i’ve learnt that i have been used to taking what information’s been given to me. but i’m getting better at asking questions! haha. but as much as i’ve been LEARNING, my performance in school has been terribly mediocre. not that i’m not grateful that i’m at least hitting the median for my modules, but its just that i’m supposed to be doing well else i may not be able to stay in this course. but i will go no further.
i think it’s been quite apparent i’ve been reading wild at heart (you think? hehe.) by john eldredge (http://www.ransomedheart.com/). well i’ve finally finished it two or three weeks back, and a few things struck me while reading the book. one thing he said really stuck with me. life is not a problem to be solved, it’s an adventure to be lived. and it was a wow moment for me. something changed in the fall of man. we decided that we have what it takes to wrestle control over our own lives. to manipulate into how we what it to be, that its a problem to be fixed, solved. but looking at it like God created life to be like an adventure, reaches to the very depths of a man’s soul. we all want to be heroes, to be known as a hero to someone. some guys want to be knights, still others cowboys. i wanted to have superpowers to save the world. haha.
26th oct
going nowhere with my intercultural communication reading and decided to blog. continuing the point about reading wild at heart. R asked me what my “vow” was. i initially was like “huh, what vow, i don’t remember that at all” haha. so much for reading huh sherman. haha. a guy’s vow is a result of his father wound and he resolve to do something consequently. i’ve been putting a lot of thought into it. and it is this… that at some point when i was younger i felt like i wasn’t wanted. like i was a burden to my father and my family. i resolved to be the best at whatever i did. to be “good enough”; i resolved that i would never put myself in a position where i needed anyone – it was a sign of weakness; conversely i wanted to be good enough to be needed wherever i went. i guess that’s in part what’s led me to be as driven as i am today, and feeling the need to be wanted. but all hope’s not lost la. haha it’s not as depressing as it is. i’m work-in-progress! (=
i’ve discovered though this experience that God speaks to me a lot through books. God speaks to different people through different ways i realized, for some people it’s movies, for others it’s people, still others it’s events. i’m not saying He doesn’t speak through all these other ways, but He does so, a lot of the time, through books. which is why i’ve decided to try my best to keeeeep reading.
will blog more soon!
from here
v1:
My child, I’ve hoped and I’ve prayed for this very day
Since you were just a little one
And oh how my heart swells with pride
As I watch the man that you’ve become
But this life offers no guarantees
And though my time on this earth had to end
I’m sure that your heart would know peace
If you could just see where I amc:
From here, the race has been run and love’s already won
I see clearly the end and the start
From here, I’m cheering you on
So live out each breath with all that you’ve got
And know until I hold you close
I’ll be holding you dear in my heart
From herev2:
I’ve seen your tears as you’ve waited alone
Longing for that special one
And now all the waiting is done
As you gaze into her eyes
Seeing the reflection of love
Life’s road may seem rough up ahead
And for now you see only in part
So hold onto each other and know
That there is an end to the darkbr:
Heaven is calling and my heart keeps longing
Looking so forward to the day
When we’ll be together forever in eternity
Just you wait and see
i’ve had this song in my phone for a while and i just paid attention to the lyrics yesterday… ahhh! can cry! i just don’t really agree with the second verse but other than that, awesome song!
marketing survey
*UPDATE* just found out that there’s a quota of 100 for the survey! and we’ve met it woohoo! thanks anyway!
hello to the wonderful people who read my blog…
i haven’t updated it in a while, my apologies. school’s pretty much a frenzy now… i need your help with a quick survey on the dessert you eat and about one of my projects’ brands. i’d really appreciate if you’d take the time out to help me with it. thanks so much!
you can take the survey here: (i wanted to hyperlink this, but the school network’s a bit crazy so here’s the link) http://www.zoomerang.com/Survey/?p=WEB229QHFB8MQC
i promise i’ll update soon!
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